My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets
Wrap them around my ears and let me hear them all
You smooth motherfucker
Anonymous said: I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?
ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE
This kills me every time
"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"
toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”
do you ever look back at your mistakes
(Source: aidn, via tessanat)
"If you gotta force it, just leave it alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails.. Just leave it."
— Reyna Biddy (via hairspr4y)
(Source: kushandwizdom, via whoduhthunkit)
Never fuck with someone who cries when they’re mad. They’ll stab you 48 times and cry in your stab wounds.
true friends don’t judge each other
they judge other people
(Source: socriminals, via relahvant)
how do fourteen year olds get pregnant, I can’t even get a high five from a guy
(Source: aiiimeeee, via unescapable)